Saturday, November 20, 2004

All The Way

All the Way and Back (Not Quite)

All the way
Children play
Mini traffic jams
Real big trawlers
All the way
Children coming back
from schools
railway lines
phone lines
electric poles
Train stations
In strange places
eucalyptus trees
Shahzade driving a yellow van
Green turret of Your mosque
Truck hotels
And nothing
Plains and glimpses
Of Kabul
You’ve come to Al-Jameel
Old buildings
And a girls’ college
Underground passageways
All the way
Closed to heavy vehicles
Green colored gates
Chalk filled stream
Incomplete plazas
On GT road
Three women
Through the fields
In an imperfect file
Modern English Institute
On a wall of drying cow dung piles
Empty gorges flow sand
To the streams
Marble factories
And warnings
All the way
Mounds of refuse
Rows of unbaked bricks
Shaidu and some long
Forgotten memory?
Choosing tours
All the way
Pipelines go underground
River flow over ground
Right beside me
All the way
"Oh now feel it comin’ back again
Like a rollin’ thunder chasing the wind
Roadside restaurants
Colorful boats in low tide
Ae kikriyan
ae talian o jhoota
Assan chhor ditta babul de weira

The Sind
And junctures where
Rivers meet
Khabi aona factory
People in the fields
Upright sacks of nothing
As sheep rest under trees
And silence, which is free
Read those reeds
Flowing through the mind
Plastic clad fingers
I looked ahead I’m sure
I saw you there

Bypasses and junctions
Motorways and roads
New places to see
And thoughts to think
All the way
Remember you
And how you drank
Your tears away
Flaws in perfection
Reeds, reeds, reeds
A sea of reeds
And what song do they sing?
Inherent unhappiness
The fast forward scenery
Swirls of cirrus clouds
And change of roads
These rites of passages
Never known
Earth sucking eucalyptus
Line the road
When we dance
the angels will run and hide

Middle Punjab plains
The setting sun behind
A last wall barring light
Dregs of the day wash away
We are going around
Trying to find a way
Out of the high stonewalls
Stains of salt
On ferrous soil
A glimpse of the moon
Through the window
Shifting landscapes
Receding trees
I just wanna get closer than
close to you

A white snake crawling through
The heart of Punjab
Patterns move on its skin
Haseenoun ka smuggler has passed us by
It's quiet now, and what it brings is everything...
Comes calling back a brilliant night, I'm still awake
I looked ahead I'm sure I saw you there
You don't need me to tell you now, that nothing can compare
You might have laughed if I told you
You might have hidden a frown
You might have succeeded in changing me
I might have been turned around
It's easier to leave than to be left behind
Leaving was never my proud
Leaving New York never easy
I saw the life fading out

Dry riverbeds and emptiness of the sea
Low lying fog
Smell of the burning logs
Desert lights
Yellow reptilian line
Moving along the bus
Light reflects water
Reflects light
Hollow sound of silence
Empty check in counters
Tired passengers
Porters walk around me
Crisscrossed ceiling designs
Empty rows of seats
And a blond colored in sadness
A man sitting sleeps
Kids on the internet
Too hot, too cold
Daughter and father duo
Hand in hand
Diaper change
Tough guy in a peach colored shirt
Sanoun pata tere dil wich chor nee
Interminable wait of those
Ready to depart
Ten exhausts in the ceiling
Light fixtures, ten of these too, amazing!
Plastic green backed pacifier
Our only man gone berserk
Oh… don’t leave home
If I cry…
Sunrise over the same sky
And I am smiling

19-20th November, 2004

Wrote this on the way to Thailand. From Peshawar to Lahore, all the way to Bangkok. (:

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Thankful for what I don't have

Many times in our lives, we're confronted with dilemmas that might have no affect on the health of the world or it's inhabitants but their effects on us are earthshattering. To think that despite everything that one might lose, there is so much beauty in life that even if we spent every second just being thankful for what we have, it would be less.

But how many times are we thankful for what we don't have? I don't think we even give that a thought. Many times we're running after heaven right here on this earth and when we don't get it, how we fight with God! Since God knows His ways best, He shows us soon enough that we were wrong to want that thing and that thing would not have been good for us. But we don't think about that after a while. We're not thankful for that.

After a long time, I've come to realize that I should and I must be thankful also for all the things that I couldn't have in my life. Even though at that time I used to think that there was no life without these. And here's life now. It's still incomplete (but what is completeness?) but guess this is all a path towards discovery of the ultimate goal. Of course when one chooses a different way, one must be prepared for the difficulties that might arise in doing so. I guess I'm ready now. Not that much maybe but ready to say I'm thankful for what I don't have!

I'll be leaving for Thailand, Malaysia and Singapore tomorrow i.e., 19th InshAllah! Just have all these weird feelings about being so far away for the first time from my country and the people I love. I just realized how much I love (but what is love?) this place even though I hate it. Its people. Its colors and the absense of them. Its ups and downs. The bends of Hayatabad. The trees in Cantt. The vroom of the bikes on the Phase 6 road. Even the stupid tommies. The campus. Most of all my sisters and my brothers and my friends. Late night talks and all the plans of glory. These are the things I'll miss.

And I'm only just going for a few days. (: May it all go well.

I'll miss you. So very much.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Eid Mobarik!

The (possible) eve of Eid is here. Wee! It's chand raat already. Ramadan is over. I can't say I'm happy to see it go but surely the Eid day compensates for all that (and also the lost weight :P and no I didn't lose much hehehe). I hope everyone had a nice Ramadan. I sure did. So it's off to village for me on Eid day. Anyway, a very very happy, sweet and fun-filled Eid to everyone!

{{{HUGS}}} specially for Eid.