Thursday, November 18, 2004

Thankful for what I don't have

Many times in our lives, we're confronted with dilemmas that might have no affect on the health of the world or it's inhabitants but their effects on us are earthshattering. To think that despite everything that one might lose, there is so much beauty in life that even if we spent every second just being thankful for what we have, it would be less.

But how many times are we thankful for what we don't have? I don't think we even give that a thought. Many times we're running after heaven right here on this earth and when we don't get it, how we fight with God! Since God knows His ways best, He shows us soon enough that we were wrong to want that thing and that thing would not have been good for us. But we don't think about that after a while. We're not thankful for that.

After a long time, I've come to realize that I should and I must be thankful also for all the things that I couldn't have in my life. Even though at that time I used to think that there was no life without these. And here's life now. It's still incomplete (but what is completeness?) but guess this is all a path towards discovery of the ultimate goal. Of course when one chooses a different way, one must be prepared for the difficulties that might arise in doing so. I guess I'm ready now. Not that much maybe but ready to say I'm thankful for what I don't have!

I'll be leaving for Thailand, Malaysia and Singapore tomorrow i.e., 19th InshAllah! Just have all these weird feelings about being so far away for the first time from my country and the people I love. I just realized how much I love (but what is love?) this place even though I hate it. Its people. Its colors and the absense of them. Its ups and downs. The bends of Hayatabad. The trees in Cantt. The vroom of the bikes on the Phase 6 road. Even the stupid tommies. The campus. Most of all my sisters and my brothers and my friends. Late night talks and all the plans of glory. These are the things I'll miss.

And I'm only just going for a few days. (: May it all go well.

I'll miss you. So very much.

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