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...

I called out to my God. I knew that He was in that light or maybe He was the Light.

And I realized, I could be light too. I wanted to reach out to that light and be a part of it. To touch that warm light. And I realized, I could feel His warmth even from such millenial distances. I got up on my feet and started running towards it. But still, I was nowhere near it. The source of the light was constant. It neither dimmed nor brightened. There was no day or night. If there was any, then I was in the twilight. Night lay behind me with a gaping mouth and day stood ahead with extended arms that never quite reached out to me. I thought I was being driven into madness.

So, I realized that in this state, madness would be much better than sanity: running but never quite reaching anywhere.

I called out to my God and I thought I heard humming...

And how fast I ran, faster than the speed of light and still I was far, far away from destiny, from that cool-warm light that was so beckoning and enticing that the feelings of claustrophobia were lost upon me. The percepts of my mind became faster than they ever were.

Sadness turned into happiness even though I was still so far away. It was sheer joy...

Na tha kochh, to Khoda tha, koch na hota, to Khoda hota

July/August 2002: from my little book