Sunday, October 24, 2004

Letter From my Conscience

Lying with the rest of my junk was this letter, which was part of an assignment in the Business Communication class. We were supposed to write a letter to someone, anyone. I wrote one to myself.

Jardin de Fleur
Hayatabad
Peshawar

April 3, 2000

My Foolish Heart
Peshawar
Pakistan

My Foolish Heart

You will be very much surprised to find my letter. Partly because of the fact that we have never met and partly due to this confession that is in all probability my last letter to you.

My Dear Friend, before I write anything else, I must admit not only to you but also to myself that though we have been acquainted for long, I feel as though I have never known you in eternity. You may think otherwise.

Such a confession on my part might rouse your anger or bring confusion to a mind already too confused in the face of rising misconceptions between us. I am not writing all this to clear my name but just to tell that I still have faith in you and the faith in the fact that you can distinguish right from wrong and that you have not turned into a hypocrite.

I believe that the barriers and hurdles being created by events in the way of our friendship may only be removed if both of us try. If it’s just a one-night stand and a one sided issue, how can we right the whole world?

Right now, maybe, you have feelings of hatred towards me due to the third rate interests of conflicting emotions and the trepidations that you have thus come to accept readily as true. Can’t we sit together and solve this problem? If this devil had been nipped in the bud, it would not have caused us this much sorrow.

I do not want to stop you from experiencing life as I can see that your heart pulls you to the fair side of it but should it be at the cost of one’s friendship? You can keep your love alive but should that make you forget your friends?

Oh, but I see I am the only forgotten friend. If fate is playing a game on us, we cannot blame it, but if the devil is causing your heart to play games on your mind, who is to blame?

Like every human being, you need warmth and affection and all this time you have waited for them to arrive without results. But our relationship has reached a cold point where our only communication is a nod of the head (and sometimes not even that). How long, may I ask, can I mask my sighs with sour laughter?

In your heart, you may think of me as an unsound mind but I have written this under great duress from the powers that be. Pride seems to be breaking under this emotional wreckage.

I have sworn my allegiance to you in front of God! What more do you want?

Nevertheless, the ball is in your court now. You may want to clean up or not but at least this load is off my chest. Before I close, you may want to know why I have developed such strong passion for you. My only answer is one that you know. I am a part of you and you gave me the life that I have. You have shown me that I am all that and more.

I don’t know how you made all these miracles but I think it needs a degree of self-awareness and I can tell you that I will always be with you no matter where you go and I will still love you if you don’t.

Waiting impatiently for your return into my world. Wish you were here.

Yours truly
Mind

4 comments:

dasfunkyt said...

It's nice to see you back in action.. your letter to your self is brilliant..

dasfunkyt said...

I am drunk at this moment... but nomater what.. your words and the structure of them are so poetic and beautyful.... I love you're Internet personalety.... wish you were here to tell me how good My life is and you could show me how to live life with out asking to much... my greatest respect!!!!!!!

Dasfunkyt (Jón Tryggvi Unnarsson)

Anonymous said...

Nice.....that's the only thing i'll say...other words won't do justice. :)


Good job...i'll keep visiting...def.

Jag.

http://www.20six.co.uk/umairmohsin

Saady said...

The letter was pretty cute i thought...a little philosophical though....

"I have sworn my allegiance to you in front of God! What more do you want?" ....>>>>absolutely amazing !!!